Confession

I am exhausted. Tired actually. I know I have been a drag. So tired of disappointing you. And I repeatedly try to fix things but the crack shows every time. Never make a man love you. I think I made you love me. Not that you did not have a choice, but you humored me. Always. I thought I knew you but I don't. And what you see is never what you get. I'd like to call you and tell you all of this, but

 I am sure I'll get what I deserve; a cold reply like 'Ok, cool'. I want to be wanted and I am not sure if you want me at all. Every night I go to sleep thinking, praying it will change but I wake up to reality. I'm resigning to my fate. I wish I knew you. And to think I'm in love with someone I don't know at all. Maybe all this is a lie. Some conspiracy theory. Some day I'll stop making excuses for you. But today is not that day.
In anticipation,
Love,
Me.