I inhaled the crisp salty morning smell of the seaside as I proceeded driving to the rehabilitation centre. This Sunday morning too was no different from other Sundays. The familiar watchman raised his hat to me. I smiled back as I drove past him. The building was peaceful. The sisters were still at Morning Prayer. I parked the car and proceeded into the centre. Sketching my path through the house I made my way to her room. The door was slightly ajar. There she stood near the window, her eyes on the horizon searching the sun on this cloudy morning.
I held her hand as we both walked down the cobble-stoned path leading to the beach. She slightly caressed the flowers with her other hand. She loves those white ones especially. As I watched her, my eyes filled with hot tears. She was still the same kid I had grown up with, played with and plucked out flowers with. As she turned towards me, I gave her the biggest smile I could. She grinned back.
The sea was calm today with light waves. The beach was deserted at this hour of the morning, just a few fishermen setting out for their catch. The waves touched our feet as we stood holding each others hands. The breeze was stronger today. She bent down to write something on the wet sand. “A R J U N” she scribbled. She clapped her hands with glee and pointed to me. She remembers only me now. Mom and Dad no longer come to visit her. They no longer can stand the heart wrenching pain that stabs them when they see her.
Aarthi was the sunshine of our lives. Her presence filled our lives with happiness. None of us can pinpoint when was it that she started moving away from us. A year back, we discovered that she was under the influence of drugs. Under drugs she had lost her sense of being. The only way out was rehabilitation. The doctor suggested this centre run by Carmelite order of sisters. Today she has learnt to survive without drugs, but still has no remembrance of her past, except for me.
We sat down by the sea and she involves herself in making a sand mountain. There are so many things I want to tell her. Let her know how much I love her. Tell her she is the best sister in the world. But all that escapes my mouth is a loud sob. Tears start streaming down my cheeks. The sound has turned her attention towards me. She sits close to me and stares at me with anxiety. I wiped my tears and gave her tight embrace. She points out that she is done with her sand mountain.
We walk along the seaside where she points out a million things to me- boats, birds, crabs and much more. She is still the same, loving Mother Nature as much she loves herself.
It’s time for us to return to the centre. She holds on tightly to me as I bade goodbye to her. I promise her I’ll be back next week. She reluctantly lets go of me. As I drive back home, I see the sun smiling between the clouds. Maybe soon our sunshine will return back to our lives. I hope…
